Hello 2013

Once again I am reminded by all those other resolutions out there in blogland that I blog to tell my story. My kid's story. Or what I would like to think of their story. I have neglected my heart because of this or that and today after a funeral and reflection starting 2013 seems to be a story that wants to come out. It wills itself in a way. Either that or I just need an excuse to tell the world that tonight while I wanted to be online looking at blogs or pinterest my eight year old trapped my three year old in the car laughing and she peed all over the place. Or the fact that I did floral work today but have no pictures to share because when really is the appropriate time to get in there and take pictures of flowers for my portfolio when people are grieving and crying. It is awkard and not worth it really. But in my selfish heart I wanted those pictures. Lately I am learning. Being stretched. Growing in love. With all the words out there people choose for their "word" for the year I hung on tight for something inspiring from heaven to ring out. Last night after a week of hushed nothing I sort of felt my word so to speak. BRAVE. And specifically it was different than "courage". I don't know how I know this I just knew. Courage: "The ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation." Brave: "Posessing or exhibiting courage or courageous endurance."(dictionary.com) I love this! When the Holy Spirit was prompting my heart he didn't just give me a word to HOPE for. He gave me a word that implies that it is a gift that He has already given to me! I don't just have to face the year and pray for the ability! In Him I have a promise that I have COURAGE! Amazing! I feel like I have a double gift! Kurto & I are really leaning into 2013 with a hope for so many many dreams! And we are leaning into His heart & His promises! And the best ending to 2012 came in my sweet niece born Christmas week. I am auntie to the sweetest little girl & we are in love.

I am sitting here watching a little game that involves a glow in the dark ball going into the makeshift neclace basket holder thing. Aubrey has her jammies on inside out and her hair is in the most perfect curls that can only be made by after swimming hair. Israel is happy because he lost a tooth this week and the tooth fairy paid extra because they "don't have cash on Mondays" apparently. The Laker game is on which reminds me of my childhood and makes me happy & I just made a great dinner out of two frozen chicken breast cooked all day in the crockpot with water. Its fancysmance around here and for that I am glad.

I blog in my head about every day. Then I upload pictures with my pretend iphone. Then someone text me and I flip open my real phone circa 1989 and I am remined that my phone can't receive most picture messages. Then I think about why it is lame to blog after not blogging for months on end. Should I recap? Should I pretend that no time has passed even though easter & Christmas are in the same sentence? So I am going to do what I should have done with my photo albums. Keep pressing on and forget about trying to catch up from 2008. So lately I am working a bunch, juicing a bunch, baking terrible cake (again), enjoying my children, and picking up furniture on the side of the road. Life is routine but good and I am in a season of deep reflection and change and I am happy.

Wedding Flower Bliss

Alright already. This was hands down one of my favorite weddings to date in terms of the flowers. I loved that I was able to take creative freedom within the borders of what feel & taste the bride described! I posted more on facebook under Lilies in the Field page. Check out the rest there...

Here & There

Been a while I know. That's ok. Just going with the rhythm of life these days. Thought I would post some sweet pics of Aubrey Lynn in the sweet pea hills. Thankful for this little girl. Thankful for springtime. Thankful for sweetpeas.

today I cried

Today Israel got in the car & was so excited. A boy had asked him to play handball at school. Pablo. God bless Pablo! He reached out to Israel, asked him to play, taught him the rules & in one afternoon recess my little man's heart was full. I am so thankful for today. Israel has struggled finding his place. He is not sporty. He is not (yet) musical. He just is his little second grade self trying to find his way out of homeschool onto the big world of the playground where there are rules, and time limits & boys who push people down. Today was awesome. Israel had his day & I had mine. I got to babysit the squishiest baby, and make a new soup. Today Aubrey was feeling better. Yesterday was like a bad dream, only I wasn't dreaming at all because I wasn't sleeping at all & that was terrible. My night started with rain on my car IN MY GARAGE! It was bathtime. That was awesome. Then my daughter woke up and wouldn't be consoled. So I held her & nurtured her and cradled her while she screamed. Then she barfed all over me. That was awesome too. Then she cried all night long and woke up every two hours holding her ears. Then I took her to urgent care and paid for a 10 minute check up + antibiotics withOUT insurrance. That was awesome too. Then I got a starbucks & burnt my tongue and couldn't taste the rest. That part was over the edge for me. But tonight I am cozied in and grateful for the day and that those events don't define me or my days. I also read a great article on simple mom about not raising up "good kids" but "God following adults" & that made me cry because when Aubrey told me as I held that squishy baby to "get rid of that baby" I felt so much better.

In 2011 I was reading...

These are the books that I read in 2011.
1. The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn. This is a must read book on tithing, money, poverty mentality, the Gospel & finances. I loved it!!!
2. Growing Up Amish by Ira Wagler. This book was a true story and documented the life of a boy who grew up in the Amish community. It was eye opening to the very bondage of legalism that the Amish walk out on a daily basis.
3. The Girl In A Green Sweater: A Life in Holocaust's Shadow by Krystyna Chiger, Daniel Paisner. This book I finished at the beginning of the year. It is haunting & beautiful. The story of a family that survives the Holocaust by living in the sewer for over a year.
4. Water For Elephants. The story in this book was well written but too racy for me. I wanted to finish what was a very good story so I read the entire book. I cannot recomend it but it was in my list of what I read. I also struggle with how the story has a "happy ending" out of what was ultimately adultery made justified by an abusive relationship. Yikes.
5. The Strength of the King, by Marci Lewellen & Sharon Karns. This is a must read. I know this because my incredible friend & her mom wrote it. They are super talented, passionate & the list of awesomeness goes on. I ordered mine & have just started it (so it counts for 2011) - Across the nations, God is pouring out his spirit to bring his Church into unity and strength. One important response to this outpouring is a mobilization to walk out James 1:27 and Malachi 4:6. Jesus told his disciples, “If you have seen me you have seen the Father.” It is time for the Bride of Christ to open her arms to the widow and the orphan in such a way that they can say – when I see and know you, I see and know the Father. (The paperback is $12 bucks so go on and get it here
6. Not For Sale by David Batstone. This was a re-read for me and a good look into the global slave trade that exist today. A difficult & necessary read.
7. The Help. This was so much fun to read and obviously the movie was just as good.
8. Redemption: A True Adoption Story by Tiffany Larson. I read this book in January last year before it was available. It is beautiful & all proceeds go to the Orphan Justice Center. It has just become available. It has the most beautiful illustrations & the story is such an amazing and simple truth. You can get it here