today I cried

Today Israel got in the car & was so excited. A boy had asked him to play handball at school. Pablo. God bless Pablo! He reached out to Israel, asked him to play, taught him the rules & in one afternoon recess my little man's heart was full. I am so thankful for today. Israel has struggled finding his place. He is not sporty. He is not (yet) musical. He just is his little second grade self trying to find his way out of homeschool onto the big world of the playground where there are rules, and time limits & boys who push people down. Today was awesome. Israel had his day & I had mine. I got to babysit the squishiest baby, and make a new soup. Today Aubrey was feeling better. Yesterday was like a bad dream, only I wasn't dreaming at all because I wasn't sleeping at all & that was terrible. My night started with rain on my car IN MY GARAGE! It was bathtime. That was awesome. Then my daughter woke up and wouldn't be consoled. So I held her & nurtured her and cradled her while she screamed. Then she barfed all over me. That was awesome too. Then she cried all night long and woke up every two hours holding her ears. Then I took her to urgent care and paid for a 10 minute check up + antibiotics withOUT insurrance. That was awesome too. Then I got a starbucks & burnt my tongue and couldn't taste the rest. That part was over the edge for me. But tonight I am cozied in and grateful for the day and that those events don't define me or my days. I also read a great article on simple mom about not raising up "good kids" but "God following adults" & that made me cry because when Aubrey told me as I held that squishy baby to "get rid of that baby" I felt so much better.

In 2011 I was reading...

These are the books that I read in 2011.
1. The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn. This is a must read book on tithing, money, poverty mentality, the Gospel & finances. I loved it!!!
2. Growing Up Amish by Ira Wagler. This book was a true story and documented the life of a boy who grew up in the Amish community. It was eye opening to the very bondage of legalism that the Amish walk out on a daily basis.
3. The Girl In A Green Sweater: A Life in Holocaust's Shadow by Krystyna Chiger, Daniel Paisner. This book I finished at the beginning of the year. It is haunting & beautiful. The story of a family that survives the Holocaust by living in the sewer for over a year.
4. Water For Elephants. The story in this book was well written but too racy for me. I wanted to finish what was a very good story so I read the entire book. I cannot recomend it but it was in my list of what I read. I also struggle with how the story has a "happy ending" out of what was ultimately adultery made justified by an abusive relationship. Yikes.
5. The Strength of the King, by Marci Lewellen & Sharon Karns. This is a must read. I know this because my incredible friend & her mom wrote it. They are super talented, passionate & the list of awesomeness goes on. I ordered mine & have just started it (so it counts for 2011) - Across the nations, God is pouring out his spirit to bring his Church into unity and strength. One important response to this outpouring is a mobilization to walk out James 1:27 and Malachi 4:6. Jesus told his disciples, “If you have seen me you have seen the Father.” It is time for the Bride of Christ to open her arms to the widow and the orphan in such a way that they can say – when I see and know you, I see and know the Father. (The paperback is $12 bucks so go on and get it here
6. Not For Sale by David Batstone. This was a re-read for me and a good look into the global slave trade that exist today. A difficult & necessary read.
7. The Help. This was so much fun to read and obviously the movie was just as good.
8. Redemption: A True Adoption Story by Tiffany Larson. I read this book in January last year before it was available. It is beautiful & all proceeds go to the Orphan Justice Center. It has just become available. It has the most beautiful illustrations & the story is such an amazing and simple truth. You can get it here

Happy New Year,

Wow! I just realized that I can scroll down three post and see Dec, Nov, Oct. How very concise of me. Or how very boring? I'm gonna say busy and call it a day. I read a blog yesterday here that really had me thinking about blogging. She had a post on why people blog. She was encouraging in her commitment to blog because she was the memory keeper of her family. She writes of the possibilities of what if our mothers had blogged? What treasure would that have been? The good, the bad, the funny. I loved that. I have been in a blogging slump lately and I think it has honestly come from reading so many other blogs. I have been lied to. Thought my blog was lame, my life was too boring, I don't have enough money to organize or decorate how I would want to portray on my blog, I don't have a product to promote, I don't have other "blog friends", I don't have a voice, I don't have a home, I am so boring, I can't really say things that are on my heart, people will think I'm offensive, people will think I'm unspiritual, people will think I'm too spiritual & not in touch with reality, I don't, I don't, I don't, I can't, I can't, I cant. Well its 2012 people and here goes! I can, I will, I will try, I will fail, I will document this life of mine because God has given me a testimony, a voice, a husband, children & a story to tell. And if not one comment comes then the joy will come from my family having a heritage written down, if you count spray paint and coffee as a spiritual blessing.
I want to document my family. Because they are awesome.

I want to share my journey in parenting. I want to cultivate my children's spirits.

I want to reflect on things that are eternal.

I want to reflect on things that are messy, funny & make me laugh at myself.

I want to share my love of flowers, flower tips & the tricks of the trade. Because every home should have flowers as long as they aren't tacky, colored blue, fake, or come with babies breath.

Happy New Year!

sentimental

Good things have been going on around here. I made Grandma Dee's English Toffee last night to give to the neighbors. At least most of it made it to the neighbors. It is simple ingredients. Butter, sugar, salt, water, chocolate chips. The only thing you really need is a candy thermometer.
On top of the fridge: a globe I found at a thrift store, my great grandmother's aqua bowl, cinnamon sticks ready for apple cider, and Kurt's grandma's red tin filled with tea.

Each year I think I'm going to go all classy & clean with my Christmas decorating. And then I get out my boxes, unload the ornaments that don't match, bring out the bright red & green mixed with the bling of oldschool outdated snow village & I am happy. The best part are the bubble lights that scream disco 70's as much as they scream memories of my sister & I waiting for Christmas morning watching the bubble lights. I am making peace with the fact that sentimental wins every time. And to balance it all out I added silver glitter ribbon and aqua & silver bulbs all over my tree. Merry Christmas!

On top of the secretary: nativity scene that Kurt's grandma gave Kurt & I as a wedding present. Candy dish from my Grandma Dee filled with m&m's. Another aqua bowl from my Great Grandma "GG", quilts inside the cabinet are random, some from me, some passed down.

Thanksgiving

With Thanksgiving landing early this year I feel like I am so behind for Christmas. I realized that when I was buying my tree on the 30th of November I felt like I lagged. Stop it already though! Its December 2nd. My birthday is next week. I'm going to get a pedicure with my sis. I have driven around looking at lights with a starbucks so all is well with the world.

Black Friday Awesomeness

Kurto & I are complete opposites. He is Mr. night owl. I am practically doing snow angels in my bed at 8pm. I jump in bed each night grab my three pillows, my down comforter & cowboy my fat cat comes and sits on my lap. It is pathetic. Israel is now actually going to bed after me on a lot of nights. I attribute it to too many years working at starbucks at 4am. So it is no surprise that after Thanksgiving dinner when I told Kurto that I should go shopping on Black Friday his words were "I will set the alarm so that you can get up at 11:30 after your nap." I am so so lame. I had to take a nap to stay up til midnight. I got to Target and my lameness continued. This year Kurt & I have been pinching every penny. In my despair to have Internet a few weeks ago I went to Starbucks and used the Internet. I brought Aubrey. I brought $1.25 in change for a vanilla steamer for her. Prices went up the night before. I got denied by 20cents! When you get denied by twenty cents you begin to pinch your pennies for reals. Anyhow Kurto & I decided that Christmas was limited to say the least but at least with the sales going on we could make our pennies stretch. While most were running for TVs, ipod's, etc I was making a run for true "door busters". My thoughts included "I hope that hello kitty underwear has not run out! Will they still have Darth Vader's $5 pajama deal by the time I get through this line? I pray nobody takes the last strawberry shortcake memory game. Its on sale for $3!" Yes I am that lame. But when you get games for $3 instead of $11 then Santa has come to town folks!

we all knew this before

but just in case you didn't know... I have lost my mind. I moved my dining room table upstairs. Upstairs as in the kids room. It has legos and hello kitty coloring pages all over it and it is AWESOME! What is not awesome? My neck is out, because my back is spaz, because I sat in my "new" dad's old over sized leather chair. It looked harmless. It was going to salvation army. I rescued it & loved it & stopped the truck pickup. I re-arranged my house. I have the perfect leather chair, reading lamp fireplace action going on. Except my back is on FIRE! My mom told me that it had a little broken spring issue. I thought a pillow stuffed underneath me would be awesome. Wrong! Now I have a heating pad and a sore looser attitude. What the heck do I do with this chair? With my dining room table? With my dream of fireside chats? For now a fatty Christmas tree in the corner will solve my problem. I have so many issues that involve furniture, craigslist, no money & mismatched paint it is even concerning to my seven year old. At school his teacher conference went like this, "Israel was the only student who personally thanked me for organizing his desk." "Israel got in trouble this week for out of turn talking instructing others how their markers should be in order by color." Sorry Izzy. It's my fault. And next semester you will play football again with your friends and then come home to organize your legos by color. I will love you forever for it like I love your daddy and someday your wife will love it too. And now for random catch up pictures...



and for the record - yes we trickortreat. no I don't love Halloween, the devil or his friends & yes by miracle I have not eaten all the kids candy yet but the m&m's are gone for sure.