Sunday, December 10, 2006

Christmas tree love

So this has been a wonderful, hard, stressful & incredible week. We just got a Christmas tree for free from God... but this is just the end of one chapter that this weeks book has been writing. God is so beautiful, loving and FAITHFUL. Not just because He gave me a tree but because he gave me his love this week. I called out and He answered. (actually I kind of screamed and whined a little) I have been reading throught the Psalms. It has been overwhelming to my heart to enter into a relationship based scripture reading with God. This week I did not just read the chapter but basically called God out on a challenge. If this is alarming to anyone just read on. I promise God liked this process. This chapter became my chapter. It started like this...

My week was stressful in every financial way. School was ending for Kurto, time schedules were switched around. It was my birthday. Just plain crazy but through in an off budget and you get the picture. It is funny to go shopping at Gap with a birthday gift card, go out to dinner from a gift certificate, get free coffee from Starbucks Christmas party, and then go home and not even see milk in your fridge.
But this is our God - blessing in the midst of everyday hardships. Kurto and I were in a pinch and we really needed God - bad. Through out this year God has done many amazing things for us - miracles really. He has also made us some promises; personal and just plain scripture promises that He has given all who believe. Well this week I was at my end. I got to Psalm 77 and something clicked in my heart.
"I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted... I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired: 'Will He never show His favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forevor? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has He in anger witheld his compassion?' Then I thought 'To this I will appeal: The years of the Right hand of the Most High'".

After this the writer list all the miracles that God had done in the past for Israel. He is appealing not to others for help, not to friends for advice, and not even to God for more favors - his argument for finding God's goodness again is to remind God of His goodness in the past. His appealing turns from listing, to praises, which turns to astonishment, and ultimately turns to worship. This process that starts with dispair and lack of feeling God turns around back into the very core of our beings which needs to worship God and through that worship we are brought into God's heart. I did this myself this week. I reminded God of all that he had done for me this year - all the miracles, all the provisions, all His faithfulness. My cry for God to remember His promises for me turned into worship because He already has. He just loves the dialogue. God also did do some extra providing that I now will have to add to that list. What an amazing Father we have...


christina said...

happy hanukkah!

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