Getting out of the Ring

So this book I am reading... It tells me that the number one tool in getting my child to "get out of the boxing ring" is to feel their guilt. When I engage them in a battle of words I take away from their feeling guilt by distracting them into a fight where they feel justified by their actions because they are rationalizing their sin and putting it on whoever they are arguing with. Wow. When my child disobeys & then tries to argue their way out of a situation, and then I jump in (either to explain myself or their wrong action etc.) it derails the heart issue. The argument takes the place of the actual issue at hand and sin/repentance is then delayed or forgotten. However when I refuse to get into a debate about such and such rather stand my ground in authority with simple resolution without "entering into the ring" my child is left to either acknowledge their sin, repent, or simply face their own sin and consequence. I find that the more I do this the more I am able to give my kids choices in their own relationship with God rather than micromanage their every decision and action. I also am finding that I do the exact same thing! Ugggg. Don't we all? Try & distract ourselves with manipulation and arguments that distract from the root issue of our sin instead of facing it head on and truly dealing with it? Goodness! I hate this for my child & I hate this for myself. John 5:6&7 "When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him "Do you want to get well?" "Sir, the invalid replied 'I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me." We know this story ends well. The man gets healed by Jesus himself. It is the process that makes me cringe. And it reminds me of my children, and worse it reminds me of myself. Jesus himself, the Son of God, asking the man 'do you want to get well'? And just with that simple question the man invites Jesus into the ring. Well I can't & you see I am cripled, and everyone else gets there first, or that person got help but I didn't and the list goes on and on. But Jesus in His mercy heals him, deals with the root issue of the man's heart. He does not got through the list. He goes straight to what matters. I want so badly to see through the excuses with my children. With myself really. 'You see Jesus I couldn't get to reading your Word today because my kids threw up and I had to do laundry and I didn't have a shower and I couldn't tithe because I didn't have enough to pay rent and tithe and get my starbucks and the list goes on. When really I just need to recognize that Jesus the Son of God himself is with me and speaks to me and wants to engage my heart.