Friday, November 19, 2010

the flesh and the fire

It is 6:30am. This morning has already brought pee accidents, timeouts, and stomping of feet (I'll let you decide if it was myself or Israel on the last one). I would say it has been quite the day but really it has been quite the week. Israel has been really challenging. Yesterday we had a friend over all day and the little boy was sweet, patient, kind and so wonderful. Israel was crying because of coloring pages shared kind of day. At one point as I sent him up to his bed he could be heard screaming "how am I gonna learn about Jesus now that you gave my page of vegitales coloring book away?" Oh ya it was an awesome day. Sad to say that he has not been the only one whining when things don't go his way. I might have raised my voice at the Starbucks drive through lady when prices went up and she told me they always charge for vanilla. I challenged her on whether there was a vanilla latte button or whether she needed to charge me separate. Now who is the two year old? I am so lame. What angered me more was that I could feel my flesh rising up and I didn't care. I felt entitlement to my anger. Sad. Earlier in the morning I had gotten my kids up and left the house by 6:15 to go to get a blood test. They changed the hours just the day before. Lucky me. I waited with two crazy kids outside in the cold for an hour and a half. Then we finally get the green light and I don't have my insurance card. I grabbed the dental one on accident. I can't get a hold of Kurto. I might have said a bad word in front of my children and the office lady and the entire line behind me. I stomp off and go to Starbucks and blah blah blah. The point is the anger was already in me. It just usually is dormant due to my circumstances. But when the stress comes, when I don't get my way, when things seem to go in circles it comes out! Jesus help me! This is actually a good thing all these circumstances because they refine me. Allen Hood spoke at our church last week. He compared the Holy Spirit to a wild fire. When the fire comes our flesh jumps out. Just like when given the choice men would rather jump out of a 100 story building than turn around and face the fire. I have really been encountering God in a personal amazing way in the last few weeks. Amazing things have really touched my heart. With that amazing things have really been ugly coming out of my heart. But that is part of the fire. I can now see them rather than mask them. I want them out! So on to a new day we go. I am thankful for the Holy Spirit who helps me in my weakness, who helps me train my children and who helps me be at peace in all circumstances which right now include having to move in less than 28days with out a clue to as where. Please pray for the Weavers would ya? And because this post is kind of whiny here are some cute and happy pictures to round it out.

No comments: